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Chonk Cat standing in a grey room beside a sagging couch, a leaning lamp and cracked floorboards

Local Furniture Event

Chonk Cat

One careful step. Several municipal consequences.

House Rules

  1. Rise Slowly

    Let the floor finish complaining first.

  2. Brace the Cushions

    They have already given enough.

  3. Warn the Floorboards

    Courtesy costs less than repairs.

  4. Secure Every Snack

    Loose crumbs become falling evidence.

  5. Blame the Plumbing

    It cannot defend itself.

Couch Departure

At 4:12, Chonk Cat left the couch. The cushions remained below sea level. A lamp leaned east, three floorboards filed complaints, and the downstairs neighbor checked the weather. Chonk inspected the room, found no structural emergency, and walked toward the snack cupboard. The couch has since been advised to keep its knees bent.

Chonk Cat, a round grey cat with a wide smile

The couch remembers every departure.